Dear America…

First let me start by saying that I really do love you. You are my home & always will be. You have given me so many freedoms I know I could not enjoy anywhere else. But ever since I graduated from college & moved to Europe, I have opened my eyes a little wider. I have seen just how many flaws you truly have, America, & we have a little problem. Mostly, I want to ask you…

Why do you not want me to be happy?

Why did you bankrupt myself & my family for your prestigious education, an education I could have gotten anywhere. But stupid me, I wanted to live on waterfront property in a safe neighborhood. I wanted nice things. & Yeah, you gave them to me for a price. A price I will be paying off until 2048. Do you know how old I will be in 2048? I will have already added on my future children’s debt to my own. 

Speaking of the future generation, I don’t think you really seem to care all that much about them these days. Our education system, below the bank-breaking colleges is awful. Elementary, middle & high schools are disgraceful. No supplies, no resources & you have cut out art, music & sports. To save money. But that’s where your heart truly is, right? Because we have a future generation who learned to settle for mediocre, & if you wanted anything more, you have to pay up. Pay for an impressive name & extracurriculars. But tell me, why is it that no one can point out any countries on a map? Even a map of the United States of America. Talk about embarrassing. 

It’s because they’re all so preoccupied. I mean, why wouldn’t they be? You target a future consumer right out of the womb. You bombard them with images of perfection & a world without flaws. Because that’s who we are. We’re #1. I mean #1 in teenage pregnancy, divorce rates, incarcerations & obesity. But this still counts for something, right?

It’s all about status, power & your favorite thing– money. A land of ‘The Haves’ who can afford gym memberships, healthy food & medicine & ‘The Have Nots’ who feast on McDonalds daily. Because last time I checked, Trader Joe’s doesn’t have a dollar menu.

I love you, America, I really do. But since living over here in Europe, it’s getting harder & harder to defend you. To explain that our love for violence, Big Macs & plastic surgery are all just cultural gems. To justify that paying $48,000 a year for school is totally worth it because you have a whole six months before you start paying off those loans…especially when you have all those non-existent entry level jobs waiting for you once you graduate. 

Do you know how much they pay for college here in Prague. Nothing. I guess that’s just because they want everyone to be educated enough to get a good job afterwards. It’s called a cultural priority.

We are the ones who made the Kardashians one of the richest families in the world off of a sex tape & bobbed our head to a #1 song of topless girls frolicking around the Blurred Lines of sexual consent. So guess those are our priorities these days!

Oh & speaking of jobs? What are those? Because last time I checked if you had one in the magnificent USA, you were begging & pleading to keep it. If you even wanted to work at all. Or ever had to your whole life. But I don’t blame you, if the government & my parents are paying for your lifestyle, why even get off the couch at all? What kind of society is that? An upper class full of heartless greedy puppeteers who pull the strings of the massive lower class. There’s no middle ground anymore. 

Because even if we are the norm, you tell us we’re not. We need glasses, braces & every medication imaginable to control our emotions. We need expensive clothing, cars & a flashy outer shell. A shell perfectly polished to disguise all the empty inside. Empty that will get picked & prodded by everyone until a gun is brought to school or a 14-year-old is hanging from a shower rod. America, is this any way to treat your people?!

It’s not enough to financially maul them, drown them in debt, brainwash them with sex & violent imagery, slut shame & self shame, bombard them with nightly black-on-white murder new stories, hype them up on sugary sodas & fatten them with pink-slime filled food…no, you want to take it all. 

I tell my European friends about how much I need to pay back in college loans. I talk to them about all the school shootings & violence. I tell them about the unemployment & awful health care system. I explain to them all the controversy surrounding religion & gay rights. And they are shocked. But for me, it’s all too casual. It is my future. It’s my destiny. 

Because we’re the home of the free. Free to cyber-bully, pay woman employees less & feed our infants all the high fructose corn syrup imaginable.Because of the brave. Also known as the faceless soldiers dying every day overseas for a war that lost it’s purpose long ago. But why should we care about any of that? American Idol is on!

Sincerely,

Hiding in Europe until you make me feel welcome home again

ps: want to read even more head-shaking statistics? All the ones in this post are based off this

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/usa-1-40-embarrassing-things-that-america-is-the-best-in-the-world-at

My Crazy Double Life

So for the past few weeks, I have met a lot of people. Like more people than I’ve met in YEARS. And they all seem to ask me the same line of questioning in the same order.

Random person: “Where you from, gurllll?”

Me: “USA, mofo!”

Random Person: “Obv, like where in the USA?”

Me: “Boston!”

Random Person: “Oh Bahhhstannn?! Like Affleck/Damon/Whalberg Boston? Do you like [insert championship sports team here]?”

Me: “Heck yes I do!”

Random Person: “Whoa! So what are you doing in Prague?”

Me: “Well, I moved here alone 2 months after graduating from college. I didn’t know anyone here. I don’t speak Czech. But now I teach preschoolers English during the day & lead the pub crawls at night.”

Random Person: [pauses] “…Wow. You live the most awesome life.”

It only took me having this conversation 20something times in order to realize just how true their words were I do live the most awesome life. I made my dream of living in Europe a reality. Instead of just talking & hoping ‘someday’, I got on that plane & made a huge change in my life. I spend all day enriching the impressionable young minds of the future, & spend the night broadening the cultural horizons of all those who venture to Prague.

Just kidding!

I actually get my hair pulled all day & deal with temper tantrums then at night I get harassed by drunk tourists & puked on.(Above: In an ideal world the society one would be me at school, but yes, the final one is accurate as well)

 But it’s really not as bad as it sounds. I equally love both my jobs. Neither one is necessarily ‘easy’, I mean they definitely have their cons, but they are both awesome in different ways. & They are actually curiously similar in many ways too such as…

1. NO ONE LISTENS TO ME

Whether you are a 4-year-old child who knows -1% of the English language or a herd of Brazilians who just drank their weight in Absinthe, the last thing you want to do is have some blonde American girl sternly instructing you. I know it’s overwhelming. Because you either have no idea what I’m saying, or you have just drank so much you don’t know what anyone is saying. So you try to reason with me & extend the olive branch of communication. If you’re the 4-year-old you will do this in Czech, you will give me a 5minute animated dialogue full of questions, which will never be answered because YOU ARE HERE TO LEARN ENGLISH. If you’re the Brazilians you will try & shhhs your friends chanting Ole Ole Ole in the streets upon making eye contact with me, but chances are our temporary pact will be broken again in 5minutes once someone begins a new chant. Once the olive branch has been rejected all hell breaks loose. 

Moral of story: screaming at children to stop running/screaming at pub crawlers to stop yelling seems to only get me sore throats & a strong urge to accidentally push someone into moving traffic.

(Above: Why yes, yes it is…if you’re not stupid enough to f it all up within the first hour…)

2. Simple Tasks Become Grand Feats

Have you ever tried to catch a chicken? Like you chase it around & back & forth until you finally might be able to pounce on it. Well I have never tried to catch a chicken, but I assume that trying to get a class of super rambunctious 5-year-olds to all sit in a circle is like this. x 7. Because all they want to do is run…& flip over tables…& throw things at my head. Ohhh teaching. Seriously, kids, this is not rocket science. JUST. SIT. DOWN. & shut up. & repeat things I say to you in English! Pub crawlers, aka my giant group of drunk children also seem to have trouble with simple tasks. My favorite exchange is the free welcome shot they all get upon arriving to the bars.

Me: “Guys, please take your shot & then throw it in the trash right here”

Pub crawler: “What is this?”

Me: “Um, I don’t know…I think vodka”

Pub crawler: “ewww…vodka? as in alcohol? you’re making me drink alcohol on this pub crawl?! I don’t want this. That first shot we had at the first place, yeah that was good…but this…tell your manager we should have something different…like maybe tequila or something really expensive to feed in bulk to 200+ people…yeah”

Me: “Come on, please take the shot or go, there’s people behind you…”

Pub crawler: “Whoa, fiesty…what’s your name? Where are you from?…will you take this shot with me…? come on…”

Me: “No.”

Then the pub crawler takes the shot, makes a face at the Burnett’s/Rubinoff hybrid liquid, then walks away defeated, making sad eyes at me. It’s actually hilarious. I see this exchange so many times a night & am always amazed at how difficult it is for someone people to just follow directions. 

(Above: I promise I am actually an awesome teacher)

3. Your skin gets real thick real fast

After living in Paris for a while I was used to/anticipated that European coldness. The Czech Republic was no different. I soon learned that rudeness is just a daily thing & you can’t take things so personally. My normal approach to rudeness in the United States is the back down mode, I avoid the confrontation & apologize. In Europe that doesn’t work. In Europe you need to serve that ish right back. Luckily I have plenty of practice with both my jobs. At the preschool I am used to children misbehaving & parents constantly disapproving of me. But I soon learned it’s not the end of the world. Because kids forget about it in 5 seconds & the parents keep sending the kids so I guess my classes aren’t so bad after all.

Pub crawl also nightly forces me to stand up for myself. This job is not for quiet timid people. You need to be assertive & authoritative. Even when 6 foot tall drunk guys are slurring awful names at you because you’re telling them they can’t bring their drinks on the street. I deal with this nightly. Being fondled & called awful things. My response: “Hey, let me see you try that again…see how many fingers you leave here with tonight.” I am becoming very scrappy to say the least. My boss already told us, “Girls, you are in Europe, men will be disrespectful to you. If you need my help, I have your back, but I give you permission to handle things on your own too”. Talk about a solid employer relationship! So yes, I will party with you, drink with you, dance with you, but if you are impolite to me, I will stand up for myself.

4. Endless Drama: Meltdowns, fights & too many shots

I think pub crawls are a great thing. They promise you one wild night of partying in some of the best bars & clubs, while you get to meet people from all over the world. Our pub crawl is even more special: for the price of $25 you get one full hour of UNLIMITED beer, wine, vodka & absinthe shots. Do you know how much alcohol that is? too much. Follow that up with 2-3bars afterwards where you get a free shot at the door (which you will complain to me about/spill on me/demand I take with you), then free entry into a 5-story club, one of the BIGGEST in Europe. Sounds like a great night, right? If you can handle it. Here’s my advice to you pub crawlers: it’s a marathon, not a sprint. As in there is a special place in hell for the people who come to sign up for the pub crawl & are already drinking. WHY?! You do not need to pregame this night! Because if you’re a guy chances are I am going to be yelling at you to stop chanting/touching me later & if you’re a girl then I am going to have to physically help you walk on the cobblestones to the next bar since you so wisely chose to wear STILETTOS as you sob & confess wayyyy too many personal things to me about your life.

So everyone, do yourself a favor & pace yourself. It’s exciting & fun but you don’t want to go so hard that you don’t even get your moneys worth. I have seen people puke their brains out at the first bar, get into fist fights in the bar, & have ENDLESS drinks spilled all over me. It’s not fun. Oh, & this is all after I’ve spent the day breaking up/diffusing children crying & flipping out. Basically, everyone, just get it together & we will all be jussst fine.

(Above: what you see–wow, fun! what i see–which one of you will puke on me tonight?)

5. The ‘Aha!’ Moment

So right now you’re probably thinking ‘Wow Jessi you sound miserable, why don’t you just quit?!’ Well, that’s where you’re wrong, dear reader. As I said at the beginning, I equally love both my jobs.I really do. Sure the kids don’t listen sometimes but it’s an overwhelming experience for them, having some girl speak a language they barely know all day to them. I love kids. That’s why I chose to teach preschool & not adults. Because even when we have a rough day, they forget about it in 5 seconds & are hugging me goodbye at the end of class or drawing me pictures (which I have begun decorating my bedroom walls with). & it’s all worth it. 

Same with pub crawl. Yes, drunk people can be annoying, but then I think about Jessayyy (& omg MESSAYYY) & realize that most of them are doing a lot better than I would be if I was forced to drink that much. Pub crawl has a lot of perks too. My co-workers are awesome, I get free beer at all the bars & can dance all night in the club. Plus the people I have met are so cool. Some travel all over the world & have wonderful stories & life experiences. I love being social & nightly meeting so many new friends (& beautiful men) 😉 Overall it’s a great job & has actually both curbed my own partying & SAVED me money. If your job is to party all night/you get home between 2-4am, then trust me, on your nights off all you want to do is sleep.

So there you have it. That’s what I’ve been up to these days. I wake up, teach children all day then head off to my second job where I lead pub crawls all night. Different jobs exact same skill set. But I am having fun & happy, not to mention making decent money now. I never imagined that my life would be like this over here in Prague, but now I realize it really is, like everyone says, pretty freakin’ awesome!

-JG 🙂

 

Old Faces in New Places

If you’re thinking about coming to visit me in the magical Disney World-esque land of Prague…you totally should. Yeah, I know it’s expensive and you can’t get time off from work, blah, blah, blah. But let me tell you, once you step on the Czech soil, you are in for one hell of a good time.

My friend Kathleen is proof.

We went to the same prep high school in Connecticut 5 years ago where we became ‘Single Ladies’. My high school forced every student to join two sports teams (colleges love that ish), so in between my autumns on the scenic winding xc trails & my springs sporting adorable skorts on the tennis courts, I was a ‘theater geek’. Actually we weren’t geeks. We were awesome. We were a family. We were a bizarre group of random people who could all memorize long monologues that came to life on the stage. Um, are you really surprised I did plays? Anyways, I met & got close to Kathleen my senior year. We were in this amazing play called Stepping Out about a crazy array of characters in a tap class. (We actually learned how to tap dance too!) Being the veteran HBIC senior I was, I was (type?) casted as Sylvia aka: the loud, sassy, uncoordinated comedian of the bunch. Kathleen was Dorothy the neurotic, nervous, paranoid one. Best play ever.

(Above: Our drama crew will beat you up)

Not only did I get to spend every day after school pretending to be this awesome tap dancer, but all my closest friends were there too. Doing plays was one of the highlights of my high school career. And these are people who I still keep in touch with today. Shout out to all my Single Ladies!

(Above: Clearly we were all a little insane…)

Kathleen (and most of my drama friends) are younger than me. Thus I feel like their big sister. Like I will give them relationship advice & beat anyone up who gives them trouble. Haters, check yo’selves now. They have watched my crazy college life unfold, but now my time has passed & it’s their turn to party for 4 years. I was ESCTATIC when Kathleen said she was going to study abroad in Spain. It makes me proud to see someone following in my tap dancing footsteps. It worked out perfectly since the semester she would be spending in Spain was the same time I moved to Prague for this unreal lifestyle. So we made plans to meet up.

AND SHE FOLLOWED THROUGH!

I know that many American students don’t even know where Prague is, let alone would ever want to spend their parents’ hard earned ca$h to vacation here while abroad. But I am very persuasive. So Kathleen flew from Spain to spend 4 glorious action-packed days in Praha! 

Once Kathleen stepped off the plane, the adventure began. After getting a mandatory welcome-to-Prague complimentary fried cheese at Wenceles Square, went one of the casual (& ever-numerous) Prague wine festivals. Yet, I, true to form, was too worn out from Jessayyy going too hard the previous night. So I sipped some (alcoholic) cider while I peer-pressured Kathleen into drinking a beer. 

(Above: Reunited at the wine festival & it feels so GOOD)

That night it was my roomie’s birthday so we went & got Mexican food! Something I strangely miss from home, not that I ate much Mexican food, but whenever I did it was always a good time. (Um, hello, Tequila). Anyways, this Mexican food was the perfect stomach coating for what else alcohol! We got ready & went to one of my favorite bars & then one of my favorite club-bars. I cannot tell you much about what happened next, but: we got free drinks (duh), met people (boys) from all over the world, got pizza at my fav drunk pizza place, actually figured out HOW to use the weekend tram to get home, & during the most glorious moment of the night, the song Single Ladies was played! Hearing Beyonce in a dark crowded dancefloor is good enough, but it’s 100x better when you are WITH a friend who refers to your high school crew as “The Single Ladies”. This is still one of my best nights in Prague so far!

Even though we got home at 5am, we were ready to sight see the next day!

How Kathleen sight sees…

How I sight see…aka: harass guards at Prague Castle!

During our day of walking around Prague, we saw EVERYTHING. For some reason this city is super confusing for me to navigate, but this day, it all made sense. We went from Wenceles Square, to Old Town Square where we were just in time to see the clock tower chime (It was almost like I planned it…but I didn’t), then we crossed Charles Bridge, then we climbed up to Prague Castle, went inside St. Vitus Cathedral & finished at the Lennon Wall. God, just typing this is exhausting. 

Afterwards we went to a local restaurant to get my favorite Czech delicacy: Svichkova. Remember that dish with steak, potato dumplings, cranberries, whipped cream & lemons? Delish. Kathleen liked it, but unfortunately it may or may not have given her food poisoning! Sorry again, girl, if you’re reading this! My b! Needless to say it was perfectly fine that I had to teach all day because she slept all day. Oops. However, typical Europe, Kathleen’s luck was about to change…

(Above: Before our epic night out)

Later that night (after Kathleen had spent all day bed-ridden), I got a random text from a random number on my phone. This doesn’t even scare me anymore. it’s Europe. But it turns out it was this Greek guy she had met during our epic Beyonce club night. He wanted to take her out to dinner! Awww. She questioned my judgement & obv I played maddd offense. This is what you’re SUPPOSED TO DO ABROAD. You meet cute foreign men who want to slow dance with you in the rain & call you beautiful & do everything else in Taylor Swift songs! So she went out & I stayed home like the Mom I was & eagerly waited for her return. Our relationship had truly come full circle.

After Kathleen survived her date she spent her last day in Prague impressively navigating her way to the Dancing House while I worked. Um, people, give this girl some credit, Czech transport is very difficult to figure out! I’m so proud! I brought her to the airport & she was off to continue her travels in Paris ( 😦 !) & Munich for Oktoberfest. 

Even though I am super lucky to have a ton of close new friends here in Prague, seeing a familiar face from home really helped my homesickness. It brought back good memories from the past, which I feel like is important & something we should reflect on from time to time. This whole adventure I’ve been making first impressions & building up rapport with everyone new I meet. It was nice to have someone around who already loved me for who I was.

I hope you had a great time in Prague, Kathleen! We certainly have come a long way from tap dancing on the alter at MPS. Good luck on the rest of your Spanish adventures! Remember Mama G’s words: Life is for LIVING.

And to everyone else: I hope you learned a valuable lesson in this post: I am an awesome tour guide, even if I unintentionally give you food poisoning… but I promise I’ll make it up to you in other ways. Like being the best international wing girl you know 😉

-JG 

 

 

Preschool Pandemonium

I’m not sure if you’ve ever spent significant time with a child before, but let me tell you: they’re crazy. Crazy as in both crazy awesome & crazy insane. But, as I previously stated, I like this mesh. I feel very natural & comfortable around children. I think they’re super cute & admire their innocence. I can color & sing with them but at the same time, I treat them as an equal. Aka: I don’t let them get away with ish. The kid’s I’ve babysat have always had a blast with me. We just click. I think they are these awesome little people who mumble to themselves while playing & spill things all the time & are a little weird, but they have every right to be.

It’s my third week as a preschool teacher & I can happily say that I made the right choice. I have a natural inclination for this. Who would have ever thought that babysitting for so many years could turn into a full time job in Europe? Life’s funny like that. However, as much fun as I’ve had being a preschool teacher at Keytone, sometimes I feel like I live in a Czech soap opera. Let me do a quick run down of my schedule for you…

 

(Above: Some of the Czech kids. I didn’t take this pic but the girl in the red pants is in my class. She’s adorbs)

Monday:

10am-11am, 4 children, 1.5 years old

You are probably wondering: why is she teaching one year old children? They can barely speak their own language, let alone another language. Oh dear reader, I am wondering the same thing. First of all, one year olds are babies. Babies cry & scream & flip out non stop because they cannot express themselves. I’m not sure it’s all that helpful that you have some foreign girl speaking in a completely different language who doesn’t understand the 5 words your 18 month old brain has retained. So what do we do for that hour? We sing. Well, I sing. They stare at me all wide eyed as their moms clap their little hands together.

Memorable Students:

Theodore is the fussy one. His mother came in the school to find me, the only one in the building, & proceeded to speak Czech even after it was clear I had no idea what she was talking about. Awkward. Then her son screamed for the whole class.

Thomas is the little cutie. He sits their in his little sweater vest while I sing Five Little Monkeys and stares in pure awe. He is at that age where he just learned how to master the art of walking. So instead he runs. But his little legs move faster than his body. So he falls a lot but is just too darn happy to cry. 

Ondrej is the smart one. His mother, my saving grace, spoke English. Aka: every time I say something she translates to the other moms. Surprisingly enough not a lot of middle-aged people in Prague speak English well. This is because during the Soviet rule, they were never allowed to learn. But Ondrej’s mom is great. It’s parents like that who’s kids will actually learn something. Because it’s clear they practice outside of class. Ondrej knows all his colors & can count. In a 2nd language. Impressive.

3:00pm-4:30pm, 5children, 3-4years old

These are the Montessori kids, or the ones my boss says “learn differently”. I’m not quite sure what that means, but the Manchild went to Montessori, so I guess that explains a lot haha. Anyways these kids are really cute and a very diverse bunch.

Memorable students:

Well, let’s see, you have David who is usually always staring off into space & refuses to wear the protective aprons for painting. Ondrej is the youngest & loves to flip over chairs, throw things & sob whenever his mom attempts to leave the room. Ema & Camillka are adorable, yet like most of the kids I teach are convinced I secretly speak Czech. They often turn to me wide-eyed & excited, babbling about something & I feel awful just nodding. Seriously sometimes they tell 5 minute stories & are certain I know what they said, even after I repeat Nemluvim cesky.

Tuesday:

10am-11am, 4 children, 2 years old

I know what you’re thinking–uh oh, toddlers, this must be her worst class. Luckily, my class has escaped the terrible twos. Well, I mean for the most part. This is a class of all girls & they are sooo cute. Like most young children, they love to sing & get ridiculously excited whenever I tell them to stand up & form a circle. They are the coolest 2 year olds I know.

Memorable Students:

Sophinka is the energizer bunny. She gets more hyper than a un-housebroken puppy when we do anything. We sing: she jumps up & down. We dance: she jumps up & down. I mean I know my classes are fun, but gurl, calm down.

Lucinka is the girl in the red pants in the picture. One thing I have learned about most Czech children is that they are all absolutely beautiful. Like they could all be child models or Gerber babies or whatever. Lucie is no exception. She cannot speak really, but has the bluest eyes & constantly smiles with her 3 little teeth.

3:30pm-5:00pm, 5 children, 4 year olds

This is definitely one of my favorite classes. They just mesh so well together. No one is really high-strung or out of control & they all constantly laugh at everything I say. They love to participate & we have a great time!

Memorable students:

They really all are. Alex is my boss’s best friend’s son. He is essentially mute & didn’t want to participate. That is, until he found out that I rode horses for 11 years. Alex is obsessed with horses. Suddenly he participates & wants me to constantly draw him horses. I don’t mind at all.

Vivi & Luisa are bffs. They know each other from before & constantly hold hands. But in a cute way, sickos. Vivi is a mini-Elle Woods with her all-pink ensembles & flower headbands. Luisa sports overalls & neckscarves every class. They both love to participate, even when Vivi has mini-meltdowns. But Luisa knows her colors like a boss.

Diana & Lauren are the hyper ones. They are both very advanced though, so whatever. They recently discovered it’s hilarious to run up & tickle me mid-lesson. They also love to take my seat when I’m not looking. Lauren looks like Cindy Loo Who from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas & reached out for my hand today when we were going to snack. Awww.

(Above: photo from our open house. Me going over animals with Georgia)

Wednesday:

2:00-4:00pm, 6 children, 6 years old

This.Is.The.WORST.Day.Ever. You’d think ‘oh they must be the easiest, they must be mature & well-behaved, right?’ Wrong dear reader, so seriously wrong. First of all, six children is a lot. Especially when five of those six children are so high strung. Two of those five are completely out of control. I dread this class. The worst part of all is that I like all the kids, I really do. I could do one-on-one time with them in a second. It’s just really hard to give them all my undivided attention. I feel like for those two hours I try to reprimand one child & the second I turn my back, another one does something. It’s time outs galore for these ones.

‘Memorable’ students:

So. You have Jan, Katerina & Martin, three out of control children. They literally feed off each other’s energy. I cannot even tell who is the root of the problem. Jan is a six year old boy with severe ADD. He loves to run and run and run. Screaming is his second favorite thing. Martin & Katerina are friends, so they basically tackle each other & join Jan in the craziness. They mock me when I tell them to stop so every class I get all HBIC on them. Often putting Jan & Martin in simultaneous timeouts, in which they just throw things across the room at each other. Sigh.

Nikolka & Eva are hyper girls (whose mothers give them candy at snack time?!) who are bffs. They are both blonde & adorable but can get very loud. They’re easier to manage than the previous three, but still don’t help calm down the classroom environment.

The other Nikolka is the well-behaved shy one. She always just patiently sits & waits for my instructions while all hell breaks loose around her. I feel really bad for her because sometimes I was that student too. The one who wanted to learn while everyone else around me caused problems. Don’t worry girl, look where I ended up & they didn’t 😉 

(Above: Luckily this photographer really understood the rule of thirds #skullprobs)

Thursday:

4:00pm-6:00pm, 4 children, 4-5 years old

This class initially rubbed me the wrong way. My first lesson began with two boys flipping over tables & ended with one of them punching me in the arm. I have never been assaulted by a 5 year old before, but let me tell you, it’s terrifying. Luckily that boy was only subbing in my class so another lucky teacher gets him instead! Now this class has become another one of my favorites. This group has a great dynamic & we have a lot of fun.

Memorable students:

Ivan is one of my all-time favorites. Some of the kids I’ve met just instantly bonded with me. So much that I would honestly ask their parents if they ever needed a babysitter. I want to hang out with them because they’re so cool. Ivan is the cutest little thing. First of all, he has a little brother, who is about 2 who is his mini-me & wears Mickey Mouse overalls. Ivan thinks it’s hilarious to pick up his brother & carry him around. It is hilarious. Ivan’s mom is awesome too & told me that he loves my class & is so excited for Thursdays! She even gave me her cell phone number in case of emergency. Best family ever!

Jachym & Tyna are brother & sister. It’s funny because they are those two siblings who look absolutely nothing alike. Jachym is blonde with blue eyes & Tyna has brown eyes & super short brown hair, which is (unfortunately) a really popular hairstyle here. These two cooperate but can be a little lazy. They get exhausted from coloring & singing about frogs apparently.

Nikolka is another one of those flawless white-blonde haired, sky blue eyed Czech children. She is very chic & sports evil eye necklaces & matching bracelets. She is often one step behind us. Teaching her the concept of Duck, Duck, Goose was impossible & we soon just all laughed as she ran from the person who she was supposed to be chasing. I love kids.

Friday:

9:00am-12:00pm, 5 children, 5-6 years old

Yes. You read that right. A 3 hour class. FOR CHILDREN. I don’t want to be in 3 hour classes, so who would ever think that children would want to be either? Bad idea. Not only do they start whining about snack time at 9:30 (to which I have to reluctantly tell them that snack isn’t until 1 whole hour later), but this crew likes to F things up. They are all different levels. It’s a popourri of kids in this class. Kids who like to cry. Kids who like throwing things. Kids who prefer hitting other kids. Yet they all have the common denominator of one exhausted teacher who cannot WAIT to drink a bottle of wine immediately afterwards. 

‘Memorable’ students:

This group really is a mixed bag. We have Viktor who can either stare off into space in his own world the whole time, or screech odd animal noises while misbehaving. Toby & Dori are siblings, which I didn’t know. I thought Dori & Matilda were siblings. Mostly because Toby liked to hit Matilda who liked to throw massive temper tamtrums when she was told art time was over & Dori, who is actually 7 years old, would comfort her & yell at Toby. Justinca is the absolute spitting-image of my friend from home, Molly, when she was younger. It’s really cute & makes me miss Molly a lot 😦 Obviously Justinca is perfect & dainty & polite while the others wreck havoc with all their inner conflict. Pretty sure they were making fun of me once they realized I didn’t speak Czech. Luckily I know how to outsmart children. While they were talking, I made eye contact with Toby & shook my head. They asked me something, which I assume was along the lines of ‘Omg, can you understand us?’ I then just shrugged my shoulders. They shut up after that. I win. Needless to say this class is going to almost guarantee the fact that Jessayyy will be making appearances every Frisky Friday, but like she needed an excuse to anyway…

So there you have it, that is what my work week is like. Jealous? Nah, it’s actually super rewarding & fun. Plus I would much rather be doing this than making coffee or stapling papers any day.

Stay tuned for more adventures later!

-JG 

 

A Break-Up Letter to the Love of My Life

Well, I can’t say this is an easy letter for me to write. It’s very hard to defy almost 7 years of blinding infatuation. To go against one of the strongest feelings I have ever experienced. To truly open my eyes & point out all the flaws in something that has, for so long, exuded only pure perfection. But I realized that even the greatest loves have their downsides…especially when they are ruining your chances with someone new. 

So sorry, Paris, but I’m breaking up with you.

Remember when we first met? I was 16 years old, gawky in mismatched patterns. I was just looking for a chance to get away. You took me by surprise. Sure, I expected the crepes dripping with warm Nutella & practicing my 2nd tongue to order them. But I never expected you seeping into my pores. It was love at first sight. You boasted your best tourist attractions, things I had only ever seen in stale history book pages. You brought it to life. 11 days was much to short. A 2 hour train for a 2 day stay, but my thoughts were somewhere else. You ruined London for me. You always were the toughest act to follow. 

So tough, in fact, that I you made it so that I never wanted to love anyone else again. I counted down the days until we could be reunited. Until I could admire your beauty, & bask in your culture. Fast-forward to study abroad & my mind was already made up. They all told me this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I could go anywhere. But you clouded my judgement. You beckoned me back home. There was no one else. All I wanted was you.

So I traveled across the Atlantic back into your arms. Once again overwhelmed by your perfection, by your grace & astounding beauty. & Everything was flawless…at first. But then we got past our honeymoon stage & Paris, I saw a different side of you. One that made me feel afraid, that made me feel like I didn’t belong. Constant metro glares & side walk stares, & even physical violation. Do men always treat women like that? Like we’re some object that can be ‘accidentally’ fondled on a crowded street. I thought you were supposed to be romantic. 

But then you caught yourself. You showed me all the things I had always dreamed of. Aside from your food & your culture, you showed me what I had been missing. Things like late night strolls hand-in-hand & park bench PDA are best with unwavering passion. Passion I had never experienced with anyone, anywhere else before. You certainly lived up to your reputation, Paris. You were my city & I was so deeply in love.  

But like any lovers, we had our issues. As much as I tried, no matter how much black I wore or how perfect I spoke your language–I was never quite good enough for you. You changed me. I first flew over so wide-eyed & hopeful, smiling all the time. But with only 5 months by your side & I became almost as cold as you. I had to be. You told me to watch my step around your streets. Because if my hair didn’t give me away, my accent certainly would. I was paranoid. Now approaching strangers on the street were met with icy eyes & I walked with keys between my fingers late at night. I was your city girl now. & I hate to admit it because I loved you so much, but I was so happy to finally fly back home. I missed the optimism in my life. 

After a few months back home though, I dearly missed you again. I missed our late night rendez-vous on the streets & be surrounded by your beautiful aura. But I was stronger now. I had the chance after college to return to you, but I decided it was time for a change. Paris, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m dating someone new now. He’s beautiful too. He has great food & culture & cobblestone streets that make me feel like I’m living in another era. Sure, he’s no Paris, but Prague accepts me for who I am. He’s not pretentious & doesn’t make me feel like I have to be either. I can be myself here.

 

I’m sorry, Paris, but we all know you’re kind of a snob. Don’t blame me though. I have spent years & years defending you & our love. Telling all those who had awful stereotypes about you & terrible experiences within your city limits that they were wrong. Because they just didn’t get you like I did. But maybe they were right. Prague knows about you too, He has a street named after you. One that is lined with Gucci, Louis Vuitton & Dior. Stores that boast luxury & quality. Stores I can’t afford. Where men in tuxes guard the double doors, reluctantly opening them for people like me. If I even dared to enter at all. 

Paris, did you ever accept me for who I was?

I guess I was so wrapped up in our romance that I was blinded by the fact that I was turning into someone else. Because you wanted me to. Prague welcomed me with open arms. He made it possible for a girl like me, a broke post grad, to stay by his side. What could you offer me, Paris? Minuscule closets infested with rats that will cost me my life savings? Get over yourself. I tried though. I tried to work near you. But once again, you didn’t deem me worthy. Because my French isn’t flawless enough & even if it was all I can picture is snarky co-workers mimicking it. Prague hired me right away. He saw a potential in me that you never did. He’s giving me a chance to grow.

Now, I know breaking up isn’t an easy thing to do. I’m sorry it came to this. It’s just that it’s becoming unhealthy. Before all I could do was compare Prague to you. & A part of me thinks that no matter where I go, you will always be that infamous ex-lover that all future ones will automatically be compared to. But that’s not fair. Because every city is so different. You did a lot of great things for me. If it wasn’t for you, I would have never had the courage to meet Prague at all. You made me independent & fearless. I will always look back on our past with a smile. You are a part of me, forever.

In November, I’m coming back to you for a weekend. It will be our first awkward post-break up encounter & I’m a little nervous. I just know how charming you can be. I know when I see you all those old feelings will come rushing right back. The dreams that have haunted me for months will become reality. But you are a home-wrecker, Paris. So many girls fall in love with you, but how many girls do you love back? Prague is my home now, so even though I may come for a visit or two, I’m not the same girl I used to be. I have (somewhat) moved on, at least for the moment. 

I’m sure someday I will find myself back in your arms, my dear. But for right now, this is just what’s best for us.

Thank you for everything, mon amour,

Je t’aime toujours,

Jessi

Adult Life is Overrated

Somewhere in between daily spending $8 at Lower Commons with Hawk Dollars (aka: “fake money”) & drinking too much every Thursday at Gillary’s, Roger Williams University was supposed to prepare me for this stage of my life. Sleeping through 9ams & attending free spin classes & ringing up a $25 bar tab on a ‘low key’ night was somehow preparing me for work meetings, proper exercise & budgeting, right? I must have missed that in the fine print of the school Mission Statement because, let me tell you, I wasn’t ready for this at all.

I wasn’t ready for rent, groceries, “proper adult behavior” & just taking care of myself. Sure, I was okay living on my own. Even though RWU was only 1 hr from my hometown of Sutton, Massachusetts it might as well have been on another planet. A misleading planet where students get everything for free, food is delicious (& ridiculously abundant) & your only main concern is making it to class looking vaguely like a functional human being. 

Unfortunately, my fellow recent graduates, college was setting us up for failure. Because life is HARD. Not hard as in ‘Oh my God, we’re going to miss the shuttle because I haven’t pregamed enough’ or the dreaded ‘I have NOTHING to wear tonight!’ Hard as in, ‘What do I want more: a rain coat or to eat dinner or to go to buy some $2 wine?”

(Above: Me in college)

(Above: Me in college in Europe)

(Above: Me as an adult in Europe)

It’s clear what I’ve been choosing.

But all jokes aside, I really have been roughing it lately. But I’m okay with it. I’m not panicking as much as I was when my TEFL program ended. I have an apartment. I have a job. I have a great family. I have awesome friends. What more do I need in life? Sure, some nights I need to skip a meal, or go without any phone credit for a few days, or steal the internet from every Starbucks I see. But this transition isn’t easy for anyone. It doesn’t matter if I am here in Prague or back home in Sutton–life is going to sometimes suck right now. That’s a given. 

Luckily, I get to live like a 5-year-old.

I have started my job at the Keytone School in Prague & really enjoy it so far! I love kids & have always felt like I just click with them. I like to color & run around & watch cartoons & eat pb & js. Maybe that’s why adult life has been so hard for me–because I am a big kid deep down myself. I envy their lives. I envy the fact that if they have a bad day they get to cry over nothing, & if they’re angry they get to roll on the ground kicking. But I have to pretend I am always okay. It’s not fair!

(Above: a picture of me & the 2 boys I babysat all summer. Look how happy this picture is! Enjoy your youth, boys)

Luckily though I get paid to be a little kid all day. We sing songs, we paint, we play games. I absolutely love it. There is just something about children that makes me so happy. After getting my TEFL I was torn between this job at Keytone & another job in which I would teach only adults. Everyone told me working with adults would be so much easier. They are professional, respectful & ready to learn.

But then I realized, that’s not what I wanted.

Sure kids have meltdowns, scream, run around, are messy & loud but that’s why I love them. Their creativity & individuality is still so pure. They have not yet been clenched by the jaws of society, telling them what to say or what to do in a classroom setting. They are still learning…but so am I. Most of them have never been a student, but I have never been a teacher. It’s like we’re navigating this new right of passage together. 

And sure there are going to be a lot of times when we cry, get angry & really want our mommys…but over the school year we are going to learn how to deal. & We are going to be just fine!

-JG 🙂

Get Your Freak On

As crazy, rambunctious & outgoing as I seem, I have always had morals. Taught the difference between right & wrong at a very young age, my conscience & I have always had a solid relationship. I have never cheated on a test, I don’t take things that aren’t mine & I know that a sincere apology can go a long way. My moral compass works over time. This has worked really well for me the past 22.5 years & allowed me to learn to love myself, I mean for the most part. I know what I stand for & what kind of person I am & accept it.

Only problem? Sometimes not everyone else does.

I went through my “awkward stage” between 10-12 I guess. Mama G thought too-short bangs were a good look & I had virtually no clue what the world thought of me. It was rough. I had really bad acne & became cripplingly self-conscious (on top of already having the usual body image issues). Pair that with mean girl drama & JG almost never made it to high school. 

(Above: I have always been a little out there, & am damn proud of it)

 During high school, I was lucky though, I was surrounded by people just as different as me. My friends were an assortment of crazy characters from all over the world. They loved me & accepted me. During this time I discovered my love for acting & did several plays. I felt at home on the stage & in the spotlight. I have always been drawn to odd celebrity personalities: Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Iggy Azalea, Conor Oberst, Marilyn Manson, Taylor Momson–the stranger you are, the more I will like you. Pretending to be someone else & taking on a character persona has always come naturally to me too. 

High school wasn’t a rough time for me. I was already pretty sure of who I was by then. Of course I made a few dumb decisions when I started drinking for the first few times, but my conscience never left my side. I was coming into my own. College was the same way. I found people just as unique as myself & made life lasting friendships. I never really felt the need to change who I was so people would like me. 

(Above: Safari party. I mean who WOULDN’T want to be my friend with face paint like that?)

But during my college years was when I truly realized just how hard it is to be different in our world. It broke my heart to see people brutally bullied, physically attacked & slandered all because of who they were. From this moment on, I did everything I could to stop bullying & educated others about acceptance. I wrote a book in Creative Writing class about the topic that basically changed my life. This is such a bigger issue than people like to believe. 

Lady Gaga, my idol, is one of the most accepting famous people I know. Quick: what did you immediately think of when I simply mentioned her name? She’s crazy? She’s a freak? She’s weird? Shame on you. That’s decades of ‘cultural normalcy’ beaten into your brain. So you viciously judge people from afar. WTF has society done for you, dear reader? Besides tell you you’re overweight, you need to dress in expensive clothes & buy certain toothpastes, face creams & hair products just to get laid? We’re all in the same boat, here. We are all constantly battling outside forces telling us we’re not good enough. We are all searching for self love. We all just want to be ourselves.

(‘I just wanna be free, I just wanna be me. I want lots of friends that invite me to their parties. I don’t wanna change & I don’t wanna be ashamed…’)

Traveling to Prague & being thrown head first into young adult life has made me feel like I am 12 years old again. Meeting so many new people & just wanting them to like me. My first impression, like Gaga’s, can go both ways: people either automatically like me or are completely terrified of me. I am loud. I am hyper. I am excited & a little over the top. But I am a good person. I am a good friend. & I shouldn’t have to justify this for anyone. I will keep wearing crazy makeup to parties. I will always be the first to go up & sing karaoke. I will keep being myself, regardless of what you & your insecurities think about it.

I can be Minnie Mouse…

 

…and have beach side skeleton photo shoots…

 

…or wear more than just animal print to a jungle party…

 

…or be a guidette princess for Jerzday…

 

…or my greatest role model of all.

 

This is who I am. I am weird, I am unique, I am special. But I am happy.

Can you say the same about yourself? Can you wear what you want, say what you want, behave how you want? Or are you too afraid of what others might say? Be yourself. It may take you years & years to be happy or comfortable in your skin, & you may still have moments of weakness. But let me tell you, dear readers, like Gaga said,

You were born this way.

& You are BEAUTIFUL.

-JG 🙂

 

Home, Sweet, Home

So if you don’t know me that well, you may read this post & think I’m a little bipolar. (I promise I’m not!) Remember my last post? It was so depressing. Yeah, I was going through a rough emotional patch, but have no fear because this post is a complete 180! A true optimist to a fault, I never can be sad for long anyways 🙂

So, dear readers, let me fill you in!

I have a new home! On a cute little street called Milešovská, in Prague 3! My metro stop is Jiřího z Poděbrad (aka: JZP since I’m still learning how to say it properly) and it’s right near the Prague tv tower. So far I have seen a lot of young people, expats (people who moved here from other countries), a ton of cute bars & restaurants, plus there’s a daily farmer’s market in the square!

 

(Above: JZP Square. With the church & Prague Television Tower right nearby)

Although I’m all nice & settled in my apartment now, it was quite a hassle getting here. I moved out on Saturday from the housing provided during my TEFL Course. Luckily, my friend, Kelly, lives on a nearby street to the apartment, so we decided to help each other move. Best decision ever. I had learned my lesson after trying to move back home from Paris. When I was too cheap to take a taxi to the airport so I hauled almost 100lbs of luggage up endless metro stairs, wearing numerous layers in mid-May. The worst experience of my life. I knew that “I’ll be okay” wouldn’t cut it. We moved Kelly’s things to her apt first successfully, but of course, I am always the captain of the Struggle Bus. We dragged my 55+lbs suitcase due to the fact that the wheel was snapping off. And my other suitcase? The wheel was already broken. Classic Jessi. By the time we got to the apartment, I was ready to collapse. 

But let me tell you: my apartment is so cute! It’s on the 3rd floor of a classic old European building. It has a normal toilet, a normal shower, a washing machine AND a bath tub. This is hitting the jackpot for housing in Europe. My roomies are all awesome too! Olivia is from New Zealand, Deep is from New York & Dan is from Chicago. & They’re all TEFL teachers too, so we’re in the same boat!

(Above: my adorable room that DOES NOT have lime green walls, blame Instagram)

Another excellent thing about finally having my own place is going to Ikea. I thought going to Forever 21 was sensory overload, Ikea is that x 100. You want everything. You want cheese graters, you want wicker baskets, you want bowls to put potpourri in. & If you know me, you know I am the Queen at compulsively buying things I don’t need. Luckily, I’m broke so I only got bedding, a light & curtains are next so I don’t have to give nightly peepshows for my new neighbors. Great first impressions, per usual!

After I calmed down about having a new apartment/being able to shop at Ikea for said apartment, my excitement reached the roof when I was officially offered my dream job! I am now a preschool/kindergarten teacher at Keytone Skola in Prague 5! (Remember that boss who I cried with about loving my mom? Yeah, don’t tell me I don’t know how to make a good first impression).

http://www.keytone.cz/

^peep the website. that’s my boss in the video aka the sweetest woman ever.

 

Today I met with my boss to discuss everything & realized that it’s going to be a lot of work. But I am so ready! I will teach Monday-Friday for about 4-5hrs a day, plus I have private lessons, PLUS I will get paid for preparation time. Sounds good, right? I mean, I’m hoping this salary is enough to afford rent, groceries, cell phone, visa ish, student loans & fun stuff. Hopefully. Mostly, I am relieved though. I feel like I will be really happy here. 

(Above: One of the super-creative rooms at Keytone Preschool. It’s sailboat themed.)

One of the first things that my boss said to me today is that she chose me because she felt I modeled the school’s core belief. Last week I was asked to give an hour demo lesson to 5 kids about summer clothes. She said she loved some of my ideas (which I all came up with by myself, btw because Google was no help). She told me that the school believed that children should feel comfortable in the environment, but also that teachers should do more than teach–they should inspire. She said she thinks I have the potential to inspire. Me?! I just am just someone who thanks bus drivers, shakes Veterans hands & holds the door open for people behind me. I am normal, not inspiring! But maybe I can learn to be…

I am so happy. I have a new apartment. I have new friends. I have a new life. I am so excited to see what comes next. And to think that just a few days ago I was so lost. Well, all it took was a little time. 

I’ve left the nest.

I’ve ventured out into the unknown.

& now I feel like I truly have a new home 🙂

-JG

 

Just Keep Swimming…

I cannot even explain all the emotions I feel right now. 

The program ended yesterday & I officially got my TEFL certificate. I did it! I passed everything, survived all the lesson planning, demo teaching & giant grammar test. I guess I still don’t really realize just how much of an accomplishment that truly is.

(Above: Me with my TEFL Certificate!)

I really fell in love with all the people in my class. They are from all over the world & all different ages. It was only one month, but I feel like we are a family. Some of them are staying in Prague, some of them are going to teach in other countries & some of them are going home.

Is it weird that lately I have been wanting to do all three?

(Above: The coolest group of people ever)

1) Why I want to stay in Prague:

Prague is really starting to grow on me. I came here a little jaded. I was still way too obsessed with Paris, my ex-lover, & found myself comparing Paris & Prague every chance I got. But that’s not fair. Prague is great & unique in it’s own way. While the two are both European countries, they have a very different set of pros & cons for me. 

Since living here one month, I have already begun the acculturation. I have learned to weigh produce & get stickers, to not take cabs, & to show my metro pass to scary men flashing me their badge. I am becoming a Prague-ian. 

& I want to continue to become one. When I first got here, I was still in vacation mode. It didn’t really hit me that I was moving here. However, now I feel like I am much more comfortable with the idea.

I have already worked so hard & come so far in only one month. I found an apartment & (99% sure) I am getting my dream job. I would be foolish to throw that away. Plus you wouldn’t have a blog to read anymore :p 

The biggest con of Prague for me right now is getting my Zizno aka: trade license. The process is expensive, overwhelming & detailed. If I end up going home this is the reason why.

2) Why I want to go to another country:

Money.

That’s really it. I know it sounds shallow but I am kinda really struggling right now. Like dangerously struggling. The money in my account is a week to week thing. I just cannot seem to get ahead right now. My poor family is trying so hard to give me all they can & I hate that until I start getting paid I’m useless.

It would be very nice to go to Asia & have my plane ticket, housing, Visa & cell phone all paid for. But then I think about all the cons (helloooo, culture shock) & I just think to myself: now is not the time.

Ideally, I want to live in Prague for a year. Go home to re-cooperate for a little bit. Then go teach in Asia & make bank. But you never know. Like Mama G always says: Man plans & God laughs. 

Deep down I think making such a drastic life change like moving to the other side of the world just for money is a lot of trouble to go through. 

So someday, but not right now.

3) Why I want to go home:

Part of me feels like you do when you have a long weekend of drinking in college & just want to leave. You want to sleep in your bed, have a fridge full of food, & just be surrounded by love. I want to do that right now so bad. If I could, I would fly home for a week or two just to recover from the past month. But I can’t.

Plus, the thought of getting in another plane so soon to make that awful 14hr journey back is sickening. 

Going home is my worst case scenario. Before I left, my mom & grandparents told me: “have fun, be safe & remember–you can always come right back.” At times I really want to. I am so broke. Broke to the point that I had to pay 230czk for the extra copies I made at school & couldn’t afford it. That is humiliating. It also doesn’t help that every day I wake up to a new message from my mom nagging me about money.

I am so terrified. Terrified to the point where I want to physically get on my knees & pray to God for direction.

I know it’s supposed to be hard before it gets easy, but right now, I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. I am prepared to sleep on a mattress in my new apartment, because I can’t afford sheets. I am prepared to skip meals because I can’t afford food. But when is enough, enough?

Going home sounds tempting, but I know that it’s also quitting. It’s proving right all those people who sneered at me when I told them I was doing this. All the people who thought I couldn’t do it. I can’t let them win. Plus, I know that once I am back home it’s game over.

It’s back to minimum wage jobs, getting nagged to make my bed, struggling for gas money, fighting with my little brothers, running into people I know everywhere & oh my God–finding a job in America. That sounds like a sick nightmare.

I made the decision deep down before I did this that I would rather be broke in Europe than being broke at home. I guess I just didn’t realize how literal that would become…

So, if you’re reading this, please pray for me.

Because I am really scared as I’m typing this. I am so terrified that I won’t make it & that things won’t work out. I am so scared about Visas, money & surviving. More than anything, I need a good pep talk or some advice, or maybe just a hug 😦 

So if there’s anyone out there reading this who feels like I do. Know that we are in the same boat together……I just hope it doesn’t sink.

-JG

 

 

Young, Skilled & Employed (?!) In Europe

Yes, you read that right. EMPLOYED. I still actually can’t believe it myself. But someone out there wants to pay me money for my skills. Skills that involve more than just scanning groceries & making coffee. Desired skills. Skills that are in high demand. Where I actually have to think & work really hard.

Hello, adult world!

So, how did it all start? It all started in February when I first decided to embark on this crazy adventure. I clicked on an ad for a website, thinking it was a scam. I mean it had to be. How could someone 1) get certified for something so demanding in just 4 weeks & 2) how could they get HIRED right away? Impossible!

But, my dear Americans, we are so jaded. Our economy has us thinking that the world is ending. I mean, our parents can’t even hold onto jobs, who the hell wants to hire us, college graduates?! Unless it’s an internship aka: we couldn’t/didn’t feel like affording this employee anymore so do their job for free & get no credit. Oh yeah, for 30hrs a week. WHO HAS 30 HOURS A WEEK TO SIT AROUND & STAPLE PAPERS?! Not me. You don’t either. So don’t SETTLE. 

(Above: it’s a never-ending cycle of defeat)

So what do most of us do after we leave the magic world of dining halls, free gyms & where our biggest concern was what alcohol we were drinking that weekend? We drown. But at different speeds. Some of us just give up from the get go. We move back home, with no job & get to be lectured all day about chores while we apply to hundreds of jobs that don’t even open our resume. Some of us return to our old jobs aka the one that can barely afford gas money & a cell phone bill, that we are so sick of. Then a rare few of us get the first big job right from the get-go. We are scared out of our minds, intimidated from 9am-5pm while we convince ourselves that this is happiness.  

But you’re just barely above the water.

& 6 months after graduation, you’re sure to go under. This is when banks think you should have you life together. Enough to start paying off those student loans. They want to basically punish you for the next 20 years for not going to a miserable community college full of underachievers. It’s not fair. 

 

(Above: Post grad cat is sad)

But there is a loophole. One that doesn’t involve illegal activity! Just move to Europe! Or Asia! Or somewhere where the economy is doing just fine. It’s a crazy concept to grasp, but people get regularly hired in Prague. They are paid decent & the cost of living remains low. They do more than just survive they get ahead. 

I knew what my post grad life would be like. It would be my mom yelling at me to make my bed, Dunkins always calling me in to cover someone, spending every weekend on the hunt for a DD, & probably a lot of crying. Why? Because for the past 4 years, I have worked pretty damn hard. I wrote a great thesis, an awesome creative writing story, worked on television & got a chapter published in a book on itunes. & It killed me to think that just doesn’t cut it for “must have 2-3years experience”. 

So I came here.

(Above: One of the classrooms in TEFL Worldwide Prague)

And let me get this straight, for anyone who is reading this with the wrong idea: I got myself here. This is not a vacation. My family is not supporting me. I am not running away. I wanted this, & I made it happen. How many times can you say that about your life? How many huge decisions do you dream up & then actually make happen? What’s stopping you?

Money, I bet.

Think about all the things you spend it on. All the little things you don’t really need. Like coffee every day at Starbucks, take out a few times a week for dinner & drinking on the weekends. It adds up. What if instead you saved up? My graduation money paid for the course. My graduation gift was my one-way flight & my spending money/housing was paid for by Dunkins, Lottery, Conversation Partner & babysitting. It’s not easy, but it happened. 

Now here, I am, 3 days left until I graduate the course & get my certificate. I have applied to 10 jobs. I have heard back from 8. I have interviewed with 5. I have (so far) been hired by 1. In 3.5 weeks. Employers don’t care about my age or that I just graduated. They only care about dedication & hard work. & Let me tell you this course was certainly a challenge. But it’s already paying off! & I will be making decent money too!

So I know you majored in business or art or whatever but you’re a native English speaker & there’s a million employers out there dying to hire you. Europe has several locations, so does South America, the Middle East & Asia will pay for your flight, Visa, housing & cell phone.

So skip your daily Starbucks once in a while, save up that spare change & buy the ticket. Because those who are crazy enough to follow their dreams are the ones who make them come true.

-JG 🙂