Boys, Boys, Boys

30 Nov

Disclaimer: So if you are reading this & are a boy then chances are you may be offended at some point. But if you are reading this & are a man–you’ll be jussst fine. The opinions in this post are strictly based on my own personal experiences, which if you have been reading this blog for a while, know that my experiences are usually interestingly bizarre & never boring. 

So dear readers, let me discuss a favorite topic of mine with you: the male species. 

Growing up in a small town with even smaller schools doesn’t really expose you to that many boys. You have the same group who you have seen pick their noses in 2nd Grade, pummel you with dodgeballs in 5th Grade & now you’re supposed to magically choose one in 8th Grade? All the favorable puberty in the world couldn’t help me there. 

Image(Above: The tiny Catholic school I went to from 2nd-8th grade. Surrounded by the same 10 boys in ties & button down shirts…pickings were beyond slim) 

So like most, I didn’t really have a chance to become acquainted with boys until high school. This is when I had my first boyfriends & learned the most coveted part of a young ( or just any?) American relationship: status. Aka: things are not official until they’re Facebook official, everyone & their brother can have an opinion about who you date & you need to be careful who you select in the fist place. Do we look cute together? Will my friends like him? Will my parents like him? Such relationships cause us to seek outward approval so much that you almost forget to ask yourself the most important question of all: do I even like him?

Image(Above: 17-year-old me, with my pre-Invisalign teeth + no make up = total catch)

3 Short lived relationships in a row & it’s clear I wasn’t asking myself this question. But then college came & I discovered the ‘L’ word. Love. As in a relationship with someone who I really cared about & who really cared about me. But more important than that he proved it. & I don’t mean paying for dinner or buying me flowers, no anyone can do that, if you really love me, in my opinion, you are willing to compromise. I will admit, I am not always the easiest person to date, but I am willing to work through differences if you are too. You don’t walk away after one disagreement & instead fight to make things work. This is love. Our love lasted one full year, but then it was back to the drawing boards of singledom. 

American boys, now I know I cannot generalize you all, but a lot of you make it quite easy to. You all seem to rock this means to an end mentality. & We all know what ‘the end’ is. This can be said for most boys, regardless of nationality, but you are different. You want to cut corners. Corners called romance & chivalry. The worst part? As American girls we usually feel obliged to comply. He bought you a drink? Oh, so you totally have to go home with him tonight. Um, excuse me?! Since when did an overpriced mixed drink become equal exchange for my vajayjay? It isn’t & I will never treat it as such. 

Ladies: it’s about quality, not quantity. If all you want is quantity than, by all means, live your life. Ignore our country’s obsession with slut-shaming & make your own decisions. But one thing I have learned is that if you keep going after quantity when you really want quality, you will just constantly be disappointed. Patience is a virtue, my friends. 

So here I was, basically single a whole 1.5years after me & my ex broke up & I thought I had things all figured out. But then came the game changer, the wrench that was thrown into my careful calculations & caused everything to go haywire. A whole species I complete forgot to account for: European boys.

Image(Above: Is there a better place in the world to find love? Answer: non.)

Or not just European boys, but boys from anywhere but America. Boys who believe in some foreign concept called passion. Something that I had only had slight glimpses of in previous relationships. My semester abroad in Paris was just what I needed to re-assure me that I was beautiful. & Desireable, just how I was. I didn’t have to change anything about myself in order to be more appealing for others. It was a nice change coming from a country where I daily feel inadequate to others. 

I mean having blonde hair helped. It really helped. Do you know how many natural blondes there are in Paris? Not many. Therefore everywhere I went, everything I did, every move I made was watched. At first being stared down every day on the metro, on the street, in restaurants, etc. was nerve-wrecking. But then I realized how powerful it was being a blonde in Paris 😉 

During my 5months living in Paris, I had the closest French thing that would be considered a relationship. One great thing about European boys is they don’t seem to be so status obsessed, I have also yet to meet one that loved to play games as much as an American. It’s nice to just hang out with someone, go on dates with them, be romantic & not freak out about ‘what we are’. Are we boyfriend/girlfriend? Are we just dating? Are we just hanging out? Are we friends? Ladies, stop obsessing! It’s exhausting. Men are simple & blunt. If they like you, they will hang out with you. If they really like you they will go on dates with you. If they don’t like you/something is up, they will ignore you. There you go. 

Image(Tu me manques, Leo 😉

Before coming to Prague, I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t just a little excited to be surrounded by European boys again. Of course everyone is different, but all the ones I’ve encountered just understand women…in more than one way. Since being here, the best way I have met guys was, where else, working the Pub Crawl. Nightly I am introduced to herds of foreign men, & more than that, I have actually met so many cool people. This is what I love about traveling & meeting so many different people from all over: hearing their experiences & stories. And finding that even if you’re so different, you have a connection in some way. It’s pretty cool.

So, dear readers, based on my experiences I have decided I would give the men I have met while living abroad (& in the US) some superlatives based on my impressions of them:

Best for committed relationships: Americans. cheating/infidelity are one of the most frowned upon things in our society, whereas ‘open relationships’ are a thing in Europe. If you want to have a boyfriend who is least likely to cheat on you/will feel awful if he ever does, stick with Americans.

Most Charming: French. It helps that I am so in love with Paris itself but French men just understand romance. They understand how to dress, smell nice, they can cook amazing food. They treat their women likes works of art. Je l’aime.

Most Welcoming: Italians. Besides France, the second most likely place for me to cat-called on the street/get my booty smacked. My time in Italy was awesome because I felt so welcomed, family values & a love for food are prime here. Plus I didn’t pay for most things for being ‘bella’.

Best Drinking Buddies: Czechs. They just understand beer & pub life. It’s so casual here. No one judges you, & you usually stay out for hours. If you want to have a good time + a good conversation (because they can all hold their alch quite well) go drinking with Czechs.

Funniest: English. Most of the time you cannot even understand wtf they say due to the accent/slang but every English boy I have met is an extra for the cast of Jackass. They love to party, drink & have fun but at the same time will keep you laughing all night long.

Best Dancers: Brazilians. No surprise here, these people understand rhythm & tempo like no other. Too bad I am an awful dancer & cannot follow along. But if you wanna tear up the dancefloor with a little salsa or tango, Brazilians will do it in the most sensual way possible.

Most Polite: Canadians. I feel bad that Americans tease these people so much because all the ones I have met are nothing but friendly & kind. True gentlemen to a fault & very humble. Canadians would also make excellent long-term boyfriends.

Most Punctual: Germans. Americans (or basically New Englanders) place high importance of being on time, but that is nothing compared to the Germans. If they say they will meet you at 7pm, then they will meet you at 7pm. All the Germans I have met are also (at times brutally) honest, which can be nice if you want to hear the actual truth.

Most Direct/Blunt: Dutch. But German honesty is nothing compared to the Dutch. While they claim they are just being ‘honest’, & they very well may be, brace yourself. The truth hurts. Don’t expect anything to be sugarcoated. I can be very sensitive at times, so this is a fiery combo. 

Most Likely to Break Your Heart: Irish. I am half Irish, so this makes sense? Haha jussst kidding. But expect to have the best day/night of your life & then never hear from them again. This exact pattern has also happened to 2 co-workers, so maybe it’s a little more common than anyone would like to admit.

Most Loyal Friends: Indians. Another culture where family & friendship is big. All the people I have met from India impressed me with their unwavering loyalty to friends. Even if their friends were passed out on the couch inside the club. They leave no one behind. 

Most All-Around Perfection: Australians. Friendly, tan, beautiful, those accents & chances are they probably know how to surf. What more could a girl ever want in life?

So, there you go, those are my impressions so far from all the European boys (& beyond) I have met while living here in Prague. It’s nice to meet so many different men on a Sociological aspect because male & female relationships differs so much from every country. & While you may think that your country is the best, you should never be closed off from both experiencing new things & also trying to understand these cultural differences.

One surefire thing is that blonde hair & my super exotic American accent always seems to help 😉





10 Responses to “Boys, Boys, Boys”

  1. Professor VJ Duke November 30, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

    Where do you travel to next? The professor appreciated the honesty, from your perspective anyway.

    • jgravesss November 30, 2013 at 12:48 pm #

      No clue. I plan on being in Prague until June. Then I will go back to the US. Then either try to go back to Paris or Taiwan.

  2. ronald stacy December 1, 2013 at 1:56 am #

    Didn’t realize you were so worldly. And I thought I was the expert. Anyways as usual great article

    • jgravesss December 1, 2013 at 2:00 am #

      Haha I have met many people from many places, Grampy!

  3. Al.culpico December 1, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    Here’s the best point/counterpoint on the topic. Be sure to read the counterpoint.,11552/

    • jgravesss December 1, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

      I have written this response 3 times but the internet in my vienna hostel keeps shutting down. i will sum it up.

      American girls = have a princess upbringing. they are special and beautiful and perfect and someday prince charming will sweep them off their feet. but then we grow up and realize were lucky to have mediocre guys take us on dates and even luckier to get a text the next day

      European guys = super aggressive. and usually never punished for being so. there is no such thing as sexual harrassment here, at least not like in the us.

      European girls= wary of agressive euro guys. dont want the attention, come off as closed off and unapproachable. do not dress up like americans do when they go out because they do not seek male attention as much.

      American girls = also praised for being confident, and making the first move because ‘why should it be on the guy!’

      I am a fairy confident american girl. i approach guys sometimes. in paris this exchange was hilarious. i would go up introduce myself and ask for a drink. mostly all the guys would oblige. some even bought my friends drinks too. this NEVER ended with me on my back with birkinstocks in the air. it ended with us talking and them getting too frisky, so I said au revoir and it was onto the next one.

      my french boyfriend was nothing but respectful. he was romantic in ways americans had never been but i was no princess. i was an equal.

      american girls are ‘easy’ because were not used to being treated like that. so we show our gratitude, the way american culture has taught us; on our backs.

      I am not blind here.its a sociological and cultural question. i hope this makes sense. i will expand more later..

  4. maureen graves December 1, 2013 at 8:42 pm #

    Great article and very intuitive. I was a little surprised you left out the Asian culture since you have dated several Asian men!!! Keep writing I get to travel without even leaving my home…Love Mom

    • jgravesss December 2, 2013 at 4:51 pm #

      haha thanks Mom! I haven’t met any Asian boys here…yet 😉

  5. Bob Graves December 2, 2013 at 2:20 am #

    Jessi, great job it was a little different in my generation. Keep writing Love Dad

    • ronald stacy December 24, 2013 at 2:25 am #

      Wow have you read the scathing reply by the Italian guy Giovani. Read the counter point on your article..

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