An Open Letter to Mama G

23 Aug

Dear Mom,

I just first want to start by saying thank you. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for giving me horseback riding lessons at age 3 because I loved animals, & art lessons at 7 because I loved to draw. Thank you for never missing a soccer game, play, Christmas concert or graduation. Thank you for always offering to give rides & for teaching me that you never go to someone’s get together without bringing something. 

Thank you for realizing at a very young age that school was my thing. Then thank you for working all those hours to give me the best. Private Catholic schools, international high schools & my dream college– you spoiled me. But thank you for following through. Thank you for teaching me boundaries & rules. For making me terrified to bring home anything less than a B, because I was smarter than that. 

Thank you for always telling me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up. And then keeping your promise. Thank you for letting me see the world. From taking me on my very first plane at age 6 to Aruba with Grammy, to cruises to Bermuda to Disney World twice. Some kids never go once all their lives. Thank you for teaching me balance. That I can take all these vacations & trips, if I worked hard for them. Because life is too short, and like you say, I will live with bills & I will die with them too.

Mom, thank you for always asking me about my day at dinner time. & For always making me, Adam & Sean call to say goodnight if we’re sleeping over a friends’. For forcing a 12:30 curfew throughout high school, & knowing that every single time I pulled into the driveway at 12:33, you would be waiting. Actually you would always be waiting. Thanks for doing that. I used to think it was too much, but now I see that it’s because you cared. You cared that I got home safe, but mostly, on time. & If I didn’t, you would come get me. Even in your pajamas. 

Remember the two really only times I lied to you? I learned fast. Because karma got me. I got stranded in Rhode Island alone & almost fell in a lake. After that I vowed to never lie to you ever again, & I haven’t. It’s not worth it. Because after that I lost your trust. And it killed me. Because you thought so highly of me. I will never let you down again, mom, I promise.

People say that we’re so much alike. Most of your friends knew who I was before I even introduced myself because we’re twins. We act a lot alike too. For me, this is the greatest compliment of all. You are my hero. You’re a role model. You are one of the kindest people I know. I’m tearing up typing this because I am so lucky to have you. Some people in their life never meet someone like you. & Here I am, your daughter.

Thank you letting me follow my dreams. Just like you told me when I was a little girl that I could be anything I wanted to? Sorry, I grew up so fast. Now, I’m doing it, I’m living my dream. Thank you for allowing me to leave the nest. But still making space if I ever need to fly back home. I know it is hard for you to let me fly so far away. But I am with you all the time. Look for little signs, I am okay. Ruth is watching over me, remember? I am safe, I am happy. I am so alive.

All thanks to you.

Please know that if I get sad, or lonely, or unhappy–I am not afraid to come back. If something happened to me, I know you’d go all Liam Nielsen. This is just a stage of life. I promise I won’t be gone forever.

Today I had a job interview at a preschool. The principal was so sweet & asked me if when I was older if I would have children of my own. I said of course. Because my mom is my hero. I want to be just like her. We both had tears in our eyes, because she knew. The love between mother & child is unbreakable. It never ends, no matter what challenges it may face. 

So until then, Mom, ignore what others say. You did the right thing. You raised a girl who is strong, smart, confident & most importantly kind. I will do my best to make you proud. 

I love you so much,

Jessi ❤

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